Monday, May 18, 2009

Time Out. Go to Your Room!

I sent myself to my room last time I got too grumpy. It works better for me than for my six year old because I'm not mad at myself when I get to come out again. 
People know that I have allot on my plate, and maybe can't figure out exactly what needs to change when I'm not up-beat or sociable. It's only because I haven't had a "vacation". 
I should probably take one about every other month. I'm not sure how often I really take them, but I know how refreshed I am when I do. 
My oldest daughter treated me to a mini vacation in the form of some thick easy read books, and I wondered how many other parents/couples out there take these sorts of vacations?
I never have to leave home. I just plan out a few days of easy prepare food, neglect the housework and say no to packing the schedule. I say yes to early morning walks. I say yes to plays, movies and late night glasses of juice. I say yes to unplanned trips to the park or canyon drives. Sometimes its cottage cheese and grapes at the park for breakfast. I can call or write to someone I need to keep in touch with. I say no to cleaning the car, the carpet and the pet.  I say yes to reading all night, dancing, and laughing until 1:00 am with teens. I say yes to silly jokes, laughing at myself and chocolate. I stoop to really listen to little ones. I imagine myself a child, an adolescent, a senior citizen depending on who it is I'm taking to. (Sometimes the senior citizen needs to talk to a little kid!) I stop and put a hand on the shoulder when a child tells about their day. I think, "I have time for this". I buy lemonade from roadside card tables. I share childhood stories about myself. I allow myself to think of loved ones whose faces I will not see again. I ignore slights and irritation and the clock. I say yes to standing on a wet hill in the gray dawn until the wind picks up, the morning chorus crescendos and the clouds turn from rose to amber. I make sudden stops near baby lambs, new foals, feed bread to ducks or detour to see the baby chicks at the local feed store. I pet the cat. I nurture people and plants. I put fresh flowers on the table and put on makeup and curl my hair. I smile allot. I decide to see myself as new, lovable and beautiful. I take extra time in my conversations with God. I read uplifting poetry or scripture. I look up at the stars. I let the little kids sleep in my big bed and rub lotion on their feet. I stay up late just to sing to them and rock them to sleep. I build puzzles, read stories and play games. I look at peoples eyes. 
I make sure I know when I'm coming back from vacation because then I set the alarm clock, plan ahead, keep the schedule, prepare healthy meals, clean house, take the car for an oil change, cut grass, bake, wash the dishes, sew, mend, iron, mop, clean the garage, go shopping, wash clothes, go to work, answer the phone, write in events on the calendar, attend community functions, problem solve and schedule dentist and doctor appointments. I'm not certain that my days are less full, but the mental vacation means they are less stressful. 
Sometimes I can only take a half hour vacation. Sometimes its using spare change to pay for a massage from one of the kids. Sometimes its a walk; sometimes its a movie; sometimes its a book; but my bio-rhythm requires a time out to stay sane. 
If today feels like a Monday, maybe its time to schedule a mini-vacation! 


  1. And just last post, you were saying how inadequate you felt. This post counteracts that. You are able to take these "time outs." But you still get done what really needs to be done.

    We have about the same thing with dates. We practically never get out of the house without kids, but we enjoy staying up late talking, playing games together, or watching movies. We have to do whatever works in our real life.

  2. The sad part is that these are the vacations. I know I'm going to cry later that those were not the every days and I conversely did not schedule a three day stress work shop to fit in the other essentials.
    I get tired of my life spent taking care of things instead of people! I imagine the time I sit in a bare room, one patch work quilt, a large pot and a rocking chair are all that is needed to make it comfortable; but when I face getting rid of the extra china, grandma's crystal pitcher, or the second grade dinosaur park picture, I'm stuck!

  3. This sounds like a good idea. I need to try one of these kinds of vacations.