The day is the typical grey haze of mid January winter. I'm cold. The girls are cold. The things that I believe are very important in my life are unraveled or unraveling faster than I can fix. The children have been sick. I wrote New Year's resolutions, sort of, and then am trying to solve the amazing brain puzzle of seeing not only if it is going to happen, but is it survive-able? They are good things and should be priorities then..but bad habits are hard to break and good one hard to make and... But that isn't why I am writing a post.
I'm writing because all though there are some serious potholes in the road, I am happy.
I read my daughter's post about looking forward to spring and I am not yet impatient. I feel that the beautiful is flowing like angel wings around me, through the gnawing of unease, the seasonal colds, the obstacles in the future. I'm not sure why I am happy really except that the unseen world wishes me to be so, and I am.
I've noticed, that though the world is full of tangible things, it is equally brimming with the things we know, but we cannot touch. Another welcoming thought is that today's society acknowledges that virtues, kindnesses, learning, power, hunger, fear, courage, hopelessness, planning and anxiety, love and pain, even altruism, and a myriad of other intangibles are real and valid. Which makes me hopeful because it seems a small step away from trusting in the miraculous: those things that are equally real, often serendipitous, and the other side of the coin, dangerous as a bad idea, or a foolish choice.
It is also clear that collectively this is a topic we steer away from. We dislike discussions of the underworld enough today to practically ignore its existence, in fact to argue through media and reasoning that evil does not exist, except in those who are misunderstood, even in the face of real crime, real villains, and real terror over much of our globe. So much do we fear to own such a thing, that mental illness, or superstition or lack of scientific thinking are the first life boats we lunge for, even for those who own the existence of a Supreme Being. Which makes the acknowledgement of heavenly beings difficult...can we own the one without having to accept the other? Likely not, and that is all the trouble. Yet real as energy and light, wind and sound, are they!
Now, I'm really not sure that this is an acceptable post, since I feel very aware of welcome allies that I do not see, yet feel apathetic that I will convince any to change a thought process. One woman said it well: to those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who do not, none is possible.
Yet I am quite certain that the presence of unseen companions is why I am writing today and why I feel happy. No other cause is as readily apparent. I guess I just needed to acknowledge the existence of these nurturing presences. I want to welcome and accept this gift.