Saturday, May 16, 2009

I suppose it was silly to start a blog and then only write in it once a month. 
Paper organization is only one of my handicaps; not being a skilled juggler is another. Juggling the little one at home with two elementary kids and four teens leaves me feeling sure I've missed an important deadline, let someone fall through the cracks, or am falling asleep when I should be doing... something..., but what? I love being the mother of this bouquet of children, I'm just not very confident at it. 
There are sleek, cool, glamorous moms, perfect makeup, cell phone in one hand they can smile as they pull the homemade casserole out of the oven at 5:57p.m. with the other, walk to a ready laid table and stand back as the five kids breeze through the kitchen door at 5:59 with clean hands and faces. Dad calls, "Honey, I'm home" and walks straight to his place at 6:00 p.m. sharp. These moms can explain, "Its usually like this, if I keep a schedule, everybody knows what to expect, so its not stressful." I always wonder where I was when heaven handed out basic skills? Definitely not in that line. I wonder what was I doing when I missed that disbursement? Probably admiring the sports fans mothers or mom's with fourteen kids and Phd's. I walk around with a chronic sense of being less competent and prepared than the average female. I realize that to admit that means I need a daily therapist. But I have one, my kids. When I'm sure I'm rowing my boat merrily, merrily backwards, they say, "Just look at the scenery! No body else gets to see the world like we do!" When I'm cross, they look down and droop, but always offer a helping hand. If one is slamming doors, another is sure to spring up to me with a delighted, "Look what I made for you!" I close nearly every day wondering how I got blessed with the most amazing kids I know. How, why, what, I could never tell anyone. I have been awestruck from the first minute until now. I only know I have to do everything I can to keep them as happy, as trusting and eager and innocent as they were when they first held my finger. 
Even though its past Mothers' Day, Hooray to mothers!  You are my daily inspiration. I watch each one, and I ask what is she doing so right? Can I do that? Thanks for letting me learn everyone!


  1. Wow! I needed this. I have been struggling a lot lately with my feelings of inadaquacy as a mother and a sense of what can I do better to make things smoother... By the way, it was great to see you the other day, we should drop in more often!

  2. I think we all feel like this. We're always sure that everyone else is doing a better job that we are. But I think you're doing great!

  3. And I found the perfect book for you. A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family, by Mary Ostyn. I haven't read it, but it is getting great reviews. It's being called the first practical, real life book about parenting. Not one of those, well, if you're not already perfect, this book won't help you one bit.